Healthy eating? Piece of cake

One of my priorities — which I reaffirm every New Year’s Day … and the beginning of every Lenten season … and every birthday — is to start adhering to a healthy eating plan.

Alas, since I prefer chocolate-covered peanut butter cookie bars to celery, it is even more challenging for me to adhere to a healthy eating plan than it was for me to quit smoking nearly 20 years ago. 

So I appreciate the abundance of memes that express empathy for my struggle.

I’ve pretty much stopped drinking soda, but I have to admit, I did this for years.

This is my story and I’m sticking to it.

Story of my life.

Note to my sweetie: Don’t even think about it.

Works for me.

They’re right … I’ve never seen this.

What if they figure out a way to make the fries out of cauliflower?

So chocolate is good for you and lettuce will kill you? I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life!

Believe me, I’m tempted. All. The. Time.

If anyone figures out how to do this, they’ll be rich enough to retire within a week.