Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

My gratitude list for 2025

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“In everything give thanks …” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Each year, I like to celebrate Thanksgiving by reviewing my blessings. And this year, my husband and I have a LOT to be grateful for.

As those who follow my blog know, Pete was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer three years ago. Then, on the first day of his chemotherapy treatments, I had a heart attack. What followed was two years of cancer treatments, cardiac rehab, repeat hospitalizations and never-ending doctor appointments.

During an appointment in October, Pete’s oncologist reminded us that his every-three-month scans have been coming back “unremarkable” – translation: no signs of recurring cancer – for nearly two years now and the kidney problems triggered by his immunotherapy treatments have stabilized for now. The doctor was practically ecstatic as he expressed cautious optimism about Pete’s prognosis.

Besides the good news about Pete, I’ve received some good news of my own: My cardiologist said tests show my heart sustained only minor damage from the heart attack I had in December of 2022. This year I was able to get a cardiac ablation to resolve some ongoing arrhythmia problems. I continue to participate in cardiac rehab, and Pete has even joined me for the exercise portion.

After what seemed like an endless siege of homebound isolation – first because of the pandemic and then because of our health issues – we’ve finally been able to return to in-person church services and get-togethers with family and friends, and we’re up to our eyeballs in volunteer commitments. In other words, life is slowly returning to … dare I say it? … normal.

AND … we just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary in October!! For a while there – given how precarious and scary our medical issues were for a couple of years running – I wasn’t entirely sure we would both make it to our 40th.  But God is good, and here we are – healthier than we’ve been in a long time.

So, here’s my gratitude list for 2025.

My amazing husband. Pete has topped my gratitude list every single day since I first met him. He’s always been kind, generous, decent and caring, my best friend, the wind beneath my wings, proof positive that there ARE good men, and the best thing that ever happened to me. But during the past three years, I’ve been blown away by his extraordinary strength and courage as he bravely endured chemotherapy and major surgery, repeated hospitalizations and finally, immunotherapy treatments. On top of all this, he’s been my faithful “therapy skunk” as I’ve navigated my own medical journey of cardiac surgeries, rehab and recovery. After 40 years of marriage, I still consider him a gift from a kind and loving God, and I love him to the ends of the universe and back.

Family and friends. I have sisters and cousins who double as friends. And I’ve been blessed with many, many good friends, past and present. I had amazing parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents. These irreplaceable people – including several special angels now in heaven – know or knew my quirks and flaws and have loved me anyway. Pete and I are beyond grateful for the many things our wonderful family members and friends have done to help us feel supported and loved as we’ve moved through our recent crises. The steady stream of prayers, cards, meals, visits and baby goat videos helped more than people will ever know!

Our kitties. Our lives have been graced with some magnificent cats, dating back to the earliest days of our marriage: Torbjorn and Angela, Oley and Champie, Bryce and Elizabeth. These sweet fur babies have curled up next to us as we slept, sat in my lap while I worked at my desk, comforted each of us when we were distressed, and loved us unconditionally. They’ve been cuddly, entertaining, delightfully ornery and endlessly adorable. Several of them have served as superb emotional support animals as well, each of them getting us through various rough patches in our lives. We’ve loved each and every one of them.

Our spiritual community. Members of our church congregation went out of their way to help us stay connected when we were homebound for four long years, first because of COVID and then for health reasons. The folks who participate in our church’s Sundays@6 adult faith formation group on Zoom have engaged us in some great discussions. Our community’s Dominican Sisters have enveloped us in prayer and provided us with spiritual direction, while our fellow participants in the anti-racism task force have taught us much. Even my fellow bloggers have shared their faith stories and offered prayers as we’ve gone through tough times.

Our dream house. We have a fireplace, a sunroom filled with plants, a large eat-in kitchen, a piano, office space for each of us, a yard overflowing with flower beds, and a lovely neighborhood with a bike path leading to a nearby park and botanical garden. We’ve even been able to make more of our space handicapped-accessible in the past couple of years so we can hopefully age in place.

Our medical team. As exasperating as our health care system can be to navigate, we’ve been blessed with some competent and dedicated health care professionals, from Pete’s oncologist and my heart specialists to the overnight nursing staff who’ve helped keep Pete and me comfortable during our various hospital stays. Our primary care provider, Shelby – who patiently takes time to listen to our concerns and answer our questions – is worth her weight in gold. And we mustn’t forget to mention the amazing staff at the Simmons Cancer Institute’s infusion center, the interventional radiology department, and the cardiac rehab center at the Prairie Heart Institute.

Technology. Despite all the hype about the societal dangers of social media and other technological advances, tech has been a lifeline for Pete and me over the past five years or so. We’ve been able to “attend” Sunday services, faith formation classes and church committee meetings even when homebound. We’ve been able to have sessions with our spiritual directors online. We’ve been able to have Zoom appointments with doctors and other health care professionals, saving us countless commutes and hours spent in waiting rooms. And even as the COVID restrictions and health issues ease, we can continue to stay in touch with family and friends who are scattered all over the country – which makes frequent face-to-face get-togethers difficult even during normal times.

Relative financial security. Having supplemental health insurance along with our Medicare means we don’t have to worry about how to cover all those medical bills – which would probably surpass the price of a rather swanky house this past couple of years – because our out-of-pocket expenses have been minimal. Being able to afford someone to clean our house and do yard maintenance work has also made my life exponentially easier, especially with my time taken up by volunteer work and so many medical details.

The great outdoors. No matter which season we’re in, I love the wildlife that populates our backyard – the rabbits and squirrels, birds and butterflies and bees. Whether I’m feeding the critters, admiring our flowers, snapping photos of flora and fauna at the park or strolling through our neighborhood, experiencing God’s creation with all my senses ranks as one of my favorite activities. As I’ve said numerous times, I find it almost impossible to deny God’s existence when I’m outdoors with the evidence all around me. 

Ordinary days. If the past three years have taught me nothing else, they’ve taught me to appreciate the “boring” days I used to take for granted. Sometimes there’s nothing more wonderful than an uneventful day. No distressing symptoms. No rides to the emergency room in the back of an ambulance. No test results with nasty surprises. Just laundry, vacuuming, groceries and other soothingly routine activities. I never thought I’d learn to appreciate plain, ordinary days so much. When God treats me to one of these days lately, Psalm 118:24 comes to mind: This is the day which the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Being alive. God has granted Pete and me another year. After the craziness of 2023 and 2024 – during which we literally walked through the valley of the shadow of death – this feels like, and most likely is, a miracle. While many folks complain about aging (and I must admit I do this myself from time to time), today I choose to be grateful that Pete and I have been allowed to grow old. Especially after surviving a heart attack and cancer.

For all of this, God, I thank you.

Here’s hoping everyone has a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

Blessings,

A prayer of Thanksgiving: So great a cloud of witnesses

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Dear God,

One of the ways I like to celebrate Thanksgiving is by reviewing my blessings. Most years, this means creating a gratitude list that contains all the usual suspects ― friends and family, our home, our church community, financial security, and so on.

Over the past two and a half years, however, I’ve lost what feels like an unbearably long string of loved ones from various causes – nearly a dozen family members and close friends, a pair of much-admired mentors, a spiritual director, and even one of my beloved cats.

Three years ago, I used this space to thank you, God, for my wonderful parents (link HERE).

This Thanksgiving, I thought I’d use this space to thank you for several more really amazing people, because I am beyond grateful that you chose to put them in my life.

Pete’s cousin John actually seemed more like a brother than a cousin ― he and Pete were in communication with each other nearly every day. They both loved bad puns, good music and friendly arguments about politics. John honored his inner child who still loved trains, which endeared him to his grandkids, and he was a walking encyclopedia on everything about trains. He is pictured above (center) with a couple of his friends at a “live steam” model railroading event.

My Aunt Irene lived in Arizona, so I didn’t get to see her all that often in my adult years, but she and my Uncle Ben were a huge presence in my life when I was growing up. When my uncle died tragically young in a farming accident, leaving her with a business to manage and four children all still at home, she showed the rest of our family what true courage, determination and sheer grit really looked like. She was always an inspiration to me.

Some folks were so much a part of our family when I was growing up, they qualified as “bonus relatives” in our minds. “Bonus Uncle” Jim and “Bonus Aunt” Shirley certainly fit that category. As long-time friends of my Mom and Dad, Jim and Marian and Roger and Shirley were a constant presence during my childhood. And they blessed our lives just as surely as any “blood” relatives could have.

I often referred to our friend Will as “my favorite curmudgeon with a heart of gold.” During the many, many meals Pete and I shared with him and his lovely wife Paula, Will loved to play the cantankerous-old-man role, arguing about everything from politics to religion to musical techniques. He was also generous to a fault, often slipping a homeless person a $20 bill without a second thought.

John and Peg were among the first friends we made when Pete and I moved to central Illinois in 1985. They were writers, editors, teachers and extraordinary mentors to people of all ages, including us. And retirement didn’t slow them down in the least. Into her 80s, Peg was a tireless activist for social justice in our community. At 96, John was working on yet another book and joining our merry band of musicians to play his harmonica.

Jessica was the kind of boss everyone should be blessed to have. She and I worked together for more than a dozen years and her management style would best be described as “tough but fair.” She had clear expectations, but at the same time, showed profound and obvious respect for the dignity of everyone who worked with her. When I went on to become a supervisor myself, Jes was a major influence on my own leadership style.

Our church congregation has lost more than a dozen truly irreplaceable people over the past three years. Among those I was closest to were Jeanie Boo, Gene, Coralie and Lois.

Jeanie (top left) and Gene (top right) were in the choir with Pete and I for nearly 20 years. Gene also lovingly tended the rose garden outside our sanctuary, one of my favorite places to walk and meditate. Jeanie would often tell people, including me, “You’re a gift from God.” How many people besides my mother have ever told me that??

Lois (bottom left) and Coralie (bottom right) did so much to help my mother-in-law feel welcome after she lost her husband of 60 years and moved to central Illinois, where she knew no one except Pete and I. They even took a Bible study class to her nursing home when she could no longer come to church. I will always be grateful to them for their amazing hospitality.

Sister Margaret Therese was my spiritual director for three years prior to her passing in 2020. I met with her monthly for one-hour sessions in which we discussed everything from trying new prayer techniques to eliminating “spiritual clutter” from my life to discerning where God wants to lead me next. What I appreciated most about her was her completely nonjudgmental attitude, something I have tried to emulate in my own relationships with others.

It’s actually been seven years since I lost my bestie Patti, but I still miss her fiercely. She was my co-author of several “best-practices” manuals, a terrific mentor, my BFF and my partner in crime. She was a spellbinding speaker, but she also had a talent for making individual people, including me, feel special and gifted ― a major reason why everyone who knew her loved her.

Hebrews 12:1 talks about the “great cloud of witnesses” ― people who have gone before us, joining the ranks of those gathered before the throne of God:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us.”

In this “cloud of witnesses” are the people who have given shape to our lives and set an example for us on how to live. They are the folks who have inspired us and cheered us on.

So as I count my blessings this year, I definitely consider these amazing people to be among my personal cloud of witnesses. Thank you God, for blessing me with each one of their lives.

With love and gratitude,

A prayer of thanksgiving

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Dear God,

In Exodus 20:12 and again in Deuteronomy 5:16, you gave us the following commandment: “Honor thy father and thy mother.” 

Fortunately, you blessed me with parents who made following that commandment easy. My life has turned out pretty wonderful. I have been blessed with a good marriage, a successful career and good friends. I owe that in no small part to having a good upbringing by parents who were loved and respected by the entire community. 

But this holiday season is the first that I will be facing without either Mom or Dad, except in my memories. So I’d like to take the time this Thanksgiving to offer thanks for their lives.

As a child with disability issues, I had problems in school, especially with other kids. In those days, diversity was NOT considered beautiful, and I was bullied pretty relentlessly. Compounding the problem was the fact that there were no good services 50-60 years ago – no IDEA, no Individualized Education Plans. Parents and their special-needs kids were pretty much on their own, and my parents just had to do the best they could without the help parents and kids can take for granted today. Despite these obstacles, they raised an honor student who graduated in the top 10 percent of her class.

It’s amazing how a small gesture can change a person’s life. When I was in junior high school, and didn’t have much belief in my abilities, I showed Mom a poem I had written. Without telling me, she sent a copy of the poem to Carol Burnett and it wound up getting published in a book. Then Mom gave me a typewriter, even though it wasn’t my birthday or Christmas or anything, and said, “You could be a famous writer someday.” Okay, so maybe the “famous” part didn’t happen, but I did grow up to be a successful professional writer. I even managed to win some writing and journalism awards. And it started with someone believing in me and telling me I had talent.

I appreciated my parents’ sense of humor when conveying life’s lessons to my sisters and me. Instead of lecturing us extensively about the need to avoid peer pressure, they’d simply say, “If 10 of your friends jumped off the top of the Empire State Building, would you do it too?” Once when I was complaining about a mean boss, Dad said, “You know, you can learn as much from a bad example as you can from a good one.” I took that advice to heart, actually, as I progressed through my career. When I became a boss myself, I thought about the bosses I’d liked, and analyzed what they did right. But I also learned a lot about what not to do from the bosses I didn’t like so well.

Mom and Dad took just about the right approach when I ran into problems. If I found myself in a situation that really and truly wasn’t fair, they were my best allies, and more than once they went to school to help me straighten out misunderstandings with one teacher or another. But if I got into trouble and was guilty as charged, they allowed me to experience the consequences rather than bailing me out the way some parents would. I can still remember when I got into a water fight with a classmate in the home-ec room, and our punishment was staying after school for 10 afternoons to clean ovens. When I complained that the punishment seemed excessive, I didn’t get much sympathy, but was told, “The exercise will do you good.” 

But perhaps the best gift they gave me was their example. 

My parents showed me what a good marriage looks like. I’ve now been blessed for 34 years with the kind of marriage they had, and I know it is possible to have a relationship with someone who loves and respects me and treats me well.

They showed me how to overcome adversity. I was not a happy camper when I got diagnosed with diabetes. But Mom had it for 60 years, and showed me how to live with the condition and accept the dietary restrictions with good grace.

They showed me it was possible to disagree without being disagreeable. One of my favorite memories was of Dad and his brothers arguing about politics, for two or three hours at a time. But they’d all be smiling while they argued, and they’d still be smiling when they got done.

Mom and Dad taught me to be generous and to give back to our community and they walked the talk. Whether it was serving on the school board, teaching Sunday School, or donating $1,000 to help a family at church, both parents were generous with their time and money. Helping others has been a big part of both my career and my volunteer work, and I learned that value from my parents. 

Their generosity has extended to hospitality. Pete and I are both grateful for how nice my parents were to my mother-in-law, making her feel like part of the family after her husband died. They made sure she felt welcome and loved.

And the community loved my parents back. During their funerals and visitations, I was blown away by the outpouring of love and respect from everyone who knew Mom and Dad. Literally hundreds of people lined up to tell my sisters and I what our parents meant to them. Here are just a few examples of the comments:

“Sweetest lady ever!”

“He’d give the shirt off his back.”

“So special, kind and caring.”

“Always so nice to everyone.”

“They changed my life.”

Finally, my parents taught me by example to count my blessings. On my 50thbirthday, I remember joking, “Now that I’m finally mature enough to listen to my elders and believe them, what advice would you pass on? If you had one thing you could do differently, what would it be?” I remember Dad, who was 75 at the time, saying, “I wouldn’t change a thing.” I only hope I can say the same thing when I’m 75. 

So now I try to remember to count my own blessings, and I definitely count my parents to be among those blessings.

With love and gratitude,

Gratitude, Part 2

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Over Thanksgiving weekend, my husband Pete and I went to North Carolina for a long-anticipated visit with some favorite cousins who live near Asheville. Two previous attempts to visit had been foiled – the first time by wildfires burning in the area, and the second time by illness. Maybe, we hoped, the third attempt would be the proverbial charm.

The photo above was taken just as we entered Tennessee. Yes, the sign below points to the “Rocky Top” of bluegrass and country music fame. The town of Rocky Top is just down the road a piece from Pete’s hometown of Norris in the eastern part of the state.

We stopped at a bluff overlooking Norris Dam, one of Pete’s favorite places. From this location, one can observe breathtaking scenery. On the day after Thanksgiving, the mountains were covered with trees still hanging onto their blazing multicolor fall leaves. I got to shoot several photos of the beloved Smokies. So far, so good. We were only a couple hours from our destination.

Then we ate supper at one of our favorite restaurants in the area, and dropped in at a Walgreens pharmacy to check my blood pressure. I had experienced a brief A-fib episode earlier in the day and was still feeling a little bit “off.” Among other things, a blood pressure monitor can detect an irregular heartbeat and I wanted to make sure my heart rate had stabilized. Alas, my blood pressure had skyrocketed and I was promptly sent to the emergency room.

I expected the ER folks would give me some medication to bring my blood pressure under control quickly, then release me. This was the treatment usually offered by my regular doctor at home. Instead, they admitted me to the hospital for an overnight stay and more tests. Needless to say, being in a hospital 500 miles from home was not part of our vacation plans and I began to feel downright surly, especially when there seemed to be no guarantee I would be released the following day either.

We relayed the news of our “detour” to Pete’s cousins. They immediately offered to come visit us at the hospital in Knoxville. Since this visit involved a two-hour drive for them, I resisted the offer at first. But Pete pointed out that a visit from the cousins might possibly set Murphy’s Law in reverse.

So John and Anne, Lise and Nate made the two-hour drive. And sure enough, Murphy’s Law-in-Reverse was activated. No sooner had we posed for the photo below (that’s me in the hospital gown worn over a pair of jeans), the doctor came in and announced that the tests were normal and I was free to leave.

So on we went to North Carolina, where we stayed in a hotel room at the Lake Junaluska Conference and Retreat Center, a beautiful resort tucked into the Blue Ridge Mountains. The mission of the conference center, owned by the United Methodist Church, is “to be a place of Christian hospitality where lives are transformed through renewal of soul, mind and body.”

The folks at the conference center seemed to practice Christian charity as well as hospitality. Although we called after 7 p.m. to let them know we wouldn’t be coming the first night of our reservation (way past the deadline for a cancellation), when they heard my story, they didn’t charge us for that night. My husband and I have stayed at the conference center several times now, and love the place. Below is one breathtaking view, as seen from our hotel room.

In the end, we got to spend two days with our fabulous cousins after all. We enjoyed cousin Anne’s fine cooking on Saturday night. On Sunday, we all piled into their van to take Nate back to his college in Charlotte, where he is studying to be a chef (the school actually offers an entire course on chocolate). Along the way, we stopped at a restaurant and I enjoyed a meal of Cajun-style barbecued salmon. It was delicious and the company was delightful.

As an added treat, I got to visit the horses who live next door to our cousins. When I held out some apple cores, they walked right up to me. If anyone thinks cats and dogs are the only pets who beg for food, they haven’t interacted with horses. These two have begging down to a science.

So I ended up with plenty to be thankful for, after all. I’m especially grateful for our cousins’ visit while I was stuck in a hospital 500 miles from home. They certainly didn’t have to go out of their way like that, especially when they had another all-day trip to make the following day. But they did – and revived my faith that there are plenty of kind and generous people left on the planet.