Thoughts on turning 70

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Unlike many people “of a certain age,” I still get excited about birthdays. I have always considered my birthday to be a personal holiday. This year I’m celebrating a major milestone birthday – I’m turning 70.

So here are some thoughts as I embark on a bright, shiny new decade of living:

Time is limited. Of course, I’ve always known – intellectually, at least – that we’re not immortal. But in recent years, this has started to register on a deep-down level with the loss of both my parents and several good friends my own age, not to mention my own heart attack two years ago, and my husband’s cancer diagnosis. Bottom line: Nothing is guaranteed. I need to let family and friends know how important they are to me and how they’ve impacted my life. I need to do this now.

I survived adolescence once already, thank-you. These days, I swear I’m experiencing more bodily changes than I did as a teenager. Even my toes have arthritis. My husband and I have acquired a new pastime – looking up medical problems on the Internet after one of our many doctors send us for tests based on the latest unnerving symptoms. At least my biggest priority is no longer “be popular.”

Perfection is an illusion. All my life I’ve struggled with perfectionism in areas ranging from my diet and my housekeeping to my career ambitions. But I probably need to face the fact that our home will always look like real people – and pets – live here. No matter how much time I spend cleaning, there will never be a time when my house is in perfect order inside and out, including the closets, the garage and the basement.

So is eternal youth. Is 70 really the new 50, as some Baby Boomers proclaim? Some say my generation is redefining old age. But truth be known, I have wrinkles. I have gray hair. There are some things I can’t do anymore – like burn the figurative candle at both ends and get away with it. Actually, I wasn’t getting away with it when I was younger either. I just thought I was.

Perhaps I should say I’ve survived adolescence twice. I did have one of those midlife crises the shrinks talk about – a second adolescence complete with acne at age 45, identity struggles and acting out behaviors (red car, drastic career change). As I’ve become firmly ensconced in this new territory called Senior Citizenhood, I’m thinking maybe it’s time for my flaming midlife crisis to be over already! On the other hand, a friend sent me a Facebook meme that advised, “If you haven’t grown up by the time you’re 60, you don’t have to bother.” Whew! Maybe I’m off that hook.

Believe it or not, I do not spend all my time wishing I were younger. Yes, there are days when I wish I had my 20-year-old body back – especially when my arthritis flares, but only if I could keep my 70-year-old mind and all the experience and wisdom about life that I’ve accumulated. I’m old enough to know what’s important and young enough to still act on at least some of it. Besides, when I am 90, I will most likely wish I still had my 70-year-old body, so I might as well appreciate it now.

 “Respect your elders!” never sounded so good. I can tell I’m getting older whenever I’m tempted to direct that admonition toward a 25- or 30-year-old kid. Oops! I mean young adult. It’s gotten somewhat scary to encounter young adults who regard their elders as people who either need to move out of the way or be thrown away rather than as people to learn from and respect. Fortunately, I’m lucky to have plenty of young people in my life who respect others, including their elders.

It’s time to let go of regrets. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t have picked up that first cigarette. I would have spent fewer of my younger years striving and competing for that brass ring that didn’t seem so shiny once I succeeded in grabbing it. Alas, I can’t change what happened decades ago. What I can do is make better decisions in this 24 hours. When my father turned 75, he said, “I honestly wouldn’t change a thing.” I hope I can say that when I’m 75! I’m getting closer, Dad.

I have set some boundaries with the fashion world: 1. Clothes must be easy to care for. If they need dry-cleaning, forget it. 2. They must be comfortable – nothing that binds or scratches. 3. They must look good on a 70-something woman who’s never been a size 0 and never will be. 4. Since I don’t have the time or inclination to constantly shop, my wardrobe must stay in fashion for longer than a month. If clothes don’t fit all these criteria, they don’t go into my closet, no matter how many cute young things are wearing them!

I have set some boundaries with other social rules as well. Especially the notion that we old folks need to hide our age. After the previously-mentioned heart attack and loss of same-age contemporaries, why on earth should I feel embarrassed by my age? No, I’m not planning to color my hair to cover the gray. No, I’m not planning to waste my money on foundation or other make-up with names like “Age Rewind.” By golly, I’ve earned every one of those wrinkles and gray hairs, and I see no reason whatsoever to hide them.

I’m much less materialistic than I used to be. If there’s one thing I don’t need, it’s more THINGS!!! If I need to be reminded of this fact, I can go to my basement and gaze upon the 48 boxes marked “miscellaneous” that make me scream when I think about sorting whatever is in them.

But there are some things I continue to want. I want to spend more time on what’s important – enjoying life with my husband, entertaining family and friends (even if only on FaceTime and Zoom these days) – and less time mindlessly surfing the Internet. I want the courage to stand up for my beliefs and values and let the chips fall where they may. I want to stop worrying so much about what other people think, as long as I’m not actively doing anything to hurt them. I want to stop fighting with my own body.

Yes, I still have dreams. Now that I’m retired, I have never been in a better position to achieve dreams like writing a book or making a constructive contribution to our society through meaningful volunteer work.

There’s no time like the present. The time to pursue my dreams is right now, not at some future date when everything will have settled down and fallen into place so I can start living my life in earnest. Especially since writing a book has been on my bucket list since age 10. There’s still time to finish that book – if I keep my nose to the grindstone, my feet to the fire and my derriere to the chair.

I have entered the Age of Wisdom – and still have questions. When I was in my 20s, I had the world all figured out. Then, the older I got, the smarter my parents got, just as Mark Twain predicted. However, now that I’m 70, I understand that human wisdom has its limits no matter how many birthdays we’ve seen. These days I’m convinced only God has all the answers, and it’s my job to keep asking the questions.

I have a LOT to be grateful for. I have a terrific 40-year marriage to the best man on the planet (I’m only slightly biased here). I have wonderful enduring friendships. I have a beautiful home and – for the first time in my life – some real financial stability. I’ve had a successful writing career, followed by a challenging career in human services, followed by fulfilling volunteer work. Pete and I have managed to stay active despite our health issues. And I’m thankful God has given me another year.

56 thoughts on “Thoughts on turning 70”

  2. Reading your thoughts on turning 70 also made me reflect on my own journey into 60, and life after 60! Sure, its a different number, but with its own quiet lessons.

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  3. I just turned 69 (I know, I’m still a kid) and this last year is the year I seriously started feeling old. More aches and pains than I care to consider.

    But that said, I learned something incredible. There were 160 people in my graduating class way back when. there’s 41 of us left. I also found out, due to my previous professions, the smart money was that I’d be among the first to die.

    I must have been incredibly blessed by God, extremely lucky, and did something right to among the last standing. I still had a few close calls at bowing off the stage early in life.

    And compared to how everyone else looked and acted, I just might be the last man standing out of that bunch.

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  7. My wife and I both turn 70 this year. I read your post to her while she was looking up “symptoms”. Lot’s of chuckles. We only have 30-some “misc” boxes but some of them are really big. We thank the Lord for each new day and enjoy it rather than wring the most out of it. Our big life-style change is cutting off the deer and rabbit welfare garden program and going to hydroponic boxes on the decks. we actually get to eat some produce ourselves.

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  10. “At least my biggest priority is no longer “be popular.”
    This really cracked me up… so much wisdom in this article, thank you for sharing and just being. It’s hard not to have regrets in life, somehow human just keeps making them every second 🤷🏽‍♀️😬

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  17. I love your thoughtful thoughts! Here is one of my favorites: “I want the courage to stand up for my beliefs and values and let the chips fall where they may.” Here’s another: “I have a LOT to be grateful for.”

    I turned 65 early this year; if the Lord keeps me here for another five years (I’m in good health), maybe I’ll write a post like yours.

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  20. Found myself agreeing with you on SO many points about being 70. I’m more than a few years ahead of you, Debi Sue, and can vouch for: changing priorities, sticking with comfortable and easy-care clothing, finding myself less materialistic than when I was younger, and find MUCH to be grateful for. I may be over the hill (actually, several of them!), but have found that this side is quite lovely too. (I do try to take care of myself to maintain strength, energy, and good health. ‘Must keep up with the grandchildren as best I can!)

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  21. You hit the nail on the head over and over again with your reflections on turning 70. This is a fabulous tribute on becoming a septuagenarian. I’m eager to reader your post when you turn 80. 🙂

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  22. Hey, Debbie Sue (?), my brother-in-law was walking into a store about a decade ago when one of several teens entering at the same time were scuttling in, but one of the young men scowled at his friends, stopped and said, “Hey, guys, let the elderly gentleman go in first.”
    My brother-in-law begrudging thanked the young man, but when they were a safe distance away from the group, complained to my sister, “Who does that young smart-alec think he is, calling Me ‘elderly’!? I’m ONLY 70 years old!!”😂
    Welcome to the Septuagenarian Club!!

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  25. Welcome to the 70s, it is like none other. One day you wake up and see your grandmother in the mirror yet your mind is still young. What will it look like when you “grow up” and how will you know?

    Thank you for posting this.

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  26. 70 years is something to celebrate. think about all the changes you have seen and how they have affected your life. Cell phone, facebook, blogging, news that can take us to the action, raw and live. Hope its a great birthday.

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  29. “If there’s one thing I don’t need, it’s more THINGS!!!” Amen, sister!! I’m three years behind you, and every time someone asks me what I want for a birthday or Father’s Day or Christmas, I just shrug. I know it doesn’t help, but I don’t really want anything. At least nothing material.

    And I, too, have SO very much to be grateful for!! 💜💜💜

    Happy birthday, whenever it happens!

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