How the Culture Wars affect us

Note: I first posted this article shortly after the 2020 U.S. presidential election. But with our current election season growing increasingly rancorous, I’d like to run it again with just a couple of small updates, because it still reflects my feelings about the polarization ripping apart our society. If anything, the situation has gotten so bad that last weekend’s events – while shocking and tragic – were hardly surprising.

Some would argue that the extreme polarization in our society is normal and relatively harmless. We must simply learn to ignore the drama, we’re told. Turn off the TV. Spend less time on social media sites.

If only it were that simple. 

The Culture Wars have infiltrated every nook and cranny of our lives, and we can’t seem to escape the bickering, no matter where we go or what we do – whether we’re walking past a sea of bumper stickers in a grocery store parking lot, getting harassed by political robocalls while trying to eat lunch or encountering insults plastered across someone’s t-shirt in a doctor’s office. The blaming and finger-pointing have become white noise in the background of our daily lives.

Around the tables at 12-Step group meetings, people say it’s important to distinguish between “normal” and “healthy.” Some situations and behaviors considered all-too-normal in our society are actually anything but healthy, they warn. And this warning seems especially applicable to the Culture Wars.

For example, it would be bad enough if the tide of anger and disrespect swirling around us served merely to put people in a surly, antisocial mood. Unfortunately, the damage doesn’t stop there. On a societal level, our finger-pointing epidemic leads to everything from Congressional gridlock and loss of trust in our institutions to violence against individuals who belong to maligned groups. On a personal level, people report damaged relationships and higher levels of stress. Perhaps worst of all, our children are watching us. 

Here are some of the harmful ways I see the Culture Wars affecting us, both personally and as a community.

Our relationships. In a study published by the journal PLOS ONE (link HERE), about 20 percent of respondents reported that political animosity had damaged their friendships. Nearly 40 percent of registered voters – both Democrats and Republicans – surveyed by the Pew Research Center (link HERE) said they do not have a single close friend from the opposing party. I’ve watched some of my own Facebook friends – both conservative and progressive – shred each other on my news feed to the point where I needed to block them. Others have pressured me to “unfriend” or stop associating with people who voted the “wrong” way in an election. I’ve fretted about who to invite to gatherings at my house because I worried that one of my more opinionated guests might insult or offend another guest. Sadly, I’ve had loved ones decide they’re “done” with me because I wouldn’t take their side politically. 

Our livelihoods. Polarization can impact our jobs, along with our ability to support ourselves and our families. At the national level, our elected officials regularly threaten to “shut down the government” unless they get their way on hot-button priorities. In the past few years, government shutdowns have resulted in workers getting furloughed until the impasse is resolved. In Illinois, where I live, social service agencies were forced to conduct massive layoffs when our legislators and our governor at the time held the state budget hostage for two years while fighting over ideological agendas. 

Our civic engagement. The Culture Wars may boost TV ratings and generate clicks for social media advertisers. But the toxic nature of our conflicts leaves too many of us wanting to drop out of the civic arena entirely. Hidden Tribes (link HERE), a survey of public opinion by the organization More in Common, says two-thirds (67 percent) of Americans belong to a group the authors have dubbed “the Exhausted Majority.” Although members of this group have many political and ideological differences, they share fatigue with the current state of U.S. politics, according to the report. At least a quarter (26 percent) of those surveyed report feeling detached, distrustful and disengaged. On a personal level, the warring factions leave me wanting to grab a good book and a flashlight and dive under the bed with my cat.

Our conversations. No matter how innocuous or trivial the topic, many of us have become reluctant to express our true thoughts. Personally, I’m not afraid that people might disagree with me, which they have a perfect right to do, or even that someone might prove me wrong, which has happened more than once. But I do tend to avoid speaking up in situations where I might get name-called or otherwise bullied, and several friends have reported having similar experiences. I don’t think this makes us snowflakes. It means we practice good self-care. Unfortunately, this situation puts a damper on our ability to engage in anything more than the most superficial small talk with others.

Our credibility. Name-calling, flaming, trolling and other rude behavior don’t just stop genuine discussion in its tracks. Obnoxious behavior invites others to take us less than seriously. When we lash out with insults toward those who disagree with us, we only give others an excuse to discount us and dismiss our message. 

Our ability to profit from advice. Lately I’ve noticed that the constant vitriol has made both me and others more reactive, less able to tolerate even the mildest, most constructive criticism. I don’t think this is entirely a matter of our having overly delicate egos. What passes for criticism is so pervasive and so relentless and so abusive that we feel like we’ve had our lifetime quota and cannot bear even one more iota of “feedback.” How many times can we hear words like “moron” directed toward ourselves before even the most thick-skinned among us gets defensive and shuts down?

Our ability to fix or learn from mistakes. People these days find it almost impossible to admit when they are wrong. Again, I think this goes beyond fragile egos. I suspect one factor is that the punishment so often exceeds the crime. We don’t just ask people to repair the damage when they make mistakes. We sue them for everything they’ve got so we can make an example of them. We don’t just fire people. We seek to ruin their entire careers in the name of “accountability.” We “call them out,” target them for public humiliation and attempt to “cancel” them like credit cards. No wonder people are afraid of even the appearance of being wrong.

Our ability to resolve real problems. While we bicker incessantly, genuine problems go unaddressed. Raging war in various global hotspots creates millions of refugees. Thousands of children worldwide die each day of starvation and/or totally preventable diseases. Nearly a third of all children in the U.S. live in poverty. Because of Congressional gridlock, our elected officials are completely unable to come up with sensible policy on issues ranging from immigration and health care to criminal justice reform and how to manage a pandemic.

Our trust. We don’t trust anyone these days – not the government, not the press, not the police, not doctors or scientists, and not even the church. According to a recent Gallup poll (link HERE), barely half (51 percent) of Americans expressed “a great deal” or “quite a lot” of confidence in the medical system. Fewer than half expressed similar confidence in the police (48 percent), the church/organized religion (42 percent), public schools (41 percent), the Supreme Court (40 percent), banks (38 percent), or large technology companies (32 percent). Fewer than a quarter expressed confidence in the criminal justice system (24 percent), big businesses (19 percent), newspapers (24 percent) or television news (18 percent). A measly 13 percent of us expressed confidence in Congress.

Our physical health. It would be nice if our elected officials could sit down like mature adults and work out a comprehensive policy to ensure appropriate health care is available to everyone, regardless of income or pre-existing medical conditions. Instead, members of Congress insist on turning our health care into a political wedge issue. Disastrously, for several years, the Culture Wars rendered our national and state governments totally unable to effectively address either the medical or the economic fallout of COVID-19. The tricky part for the rest of us continues to be figuring out how to separate the progressive-versus-conservative political spin from the medical information we need to know in order to protect ourselves from a potentially deadly virus. 

Our mental health. In “Stress in America 2020,” a survey published by the American Psychological Association (link HERE), 68 percent of adults named the political climate in the U.S. as a source of stress. Republicans and Democrats were equally likely to say this was true for them. Three in five (60 percent) said the sheer number of issues America faces – ranging from racism and immigration to health care, the economy and climate change – was overwhelming to them. As anxiety arising from the COVID-19 pandemic was added to our tension over these already existing conflicts, our stress levels skyrocketed to the point that APA sounded an alarm: “We are facing a national mental health crisis that could yield serious health and social consequences for years to come.”

Our faith. The Culture Wars have literally split congregations down the middle in recent years, and major denominations have faced schisms over such issues as LGBTQ rights, abortion and the role of women. How do we have conversations about genuine moral issues such as racism or poverty when important Biblical passages are labelled “too political” and therefore off-limits for discussion? For those of us who claim to be people of faith, spewing hurtful and gratuitous snark on Christian social media sites gives the increasing numbers of young people who identify as “none” ammunition to call us hypocrites and declare they want nothing to do with either us or our religion. 

Our safety. Taken to extremes, polarization can promote dehumanization and lower the threshold for violence. Unfortunately, this past weekend’s assassination attempt was only the latest example. Democratic Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and Republican Congressman Steve Scalise were shot by mentally unstable individuals who took our society’s heated political rhetoric too literally. Since then, there have been a string of incidents involving political violence, from the attempted kidnapping of a governor to an assassination plot against a Supreme Court justice. Elected officials from both parties routinely receive death threats in response to their policy decisions. We have groups on both the left (such as Antifa) and the right (such as the Proud Boys) who endorse violence as a legitimate way to achieve political ends. Perhaps more disturbing, a Voter Study Group survey (link HERE) found that 16 percent of ordinary Americans felt that violence is sometimes justified to advance political goals. We’re not even safe in our places of worship – mass shootings have occurred in Christian churches, Jewish synagogues, Muslim mosques and a Sikh temple. A Marist national poll conducted in May 2024 (link HERE) found that nearly half of Americans think there is a likelihood of another U.S. civil war in their lifetime.

Our children. Do we really think our kids don’t notice the mudslinging we’ve come to regard as normal for political campaigns? Or the car with the middle-aged driver and the bumper sticker that tells us what we can eat if we don’t like the owner’s driving? Or the (alleged) adults who consider “flaming” a popular sport on social media? Or the talk show host who refers to ideological opponents as “wackos”? I’ve heard parents and teachers alike share concerns about children and adolescents watching political debates because of the abundance of name-calling, constant interruptions and generally uncivil behavior. Young people looking to adults for an example of how to behave could be excused for concluding that rudeness is clever. Kids who take their cues from their elders might also get this message: Consideration for others is passé.

So, is extreme polarization normal in our society? Unfortunately. Is it healthy or harmless? Hardly.

Questions for readers: How has our society’s polarization impacted you personally? How do we become part of the solution rather than part of the problem? I’d love to hear your responses to these questions, as well as your comments on this article. Just hit “Leave a Reply” below. When responding, please keep in mind the guidelines I’ve outlined on my Rules of Engagement page (link HERE).

22 thoughts on “How the Culture Wars affect us

  1. A wonderful article, and sadly, so true to life! Here’s my lame addition to the polarization problem: I live on a dead end private road, with homes of diverse politics. But, we are responsible for the road upkeep, so we all work together to help that. And, oh my goodness, some sweet dogs walk with their owners practically each day, and owners like to chat about their pets no matter what their politics are. So, I say, it doesn’t matter who is President, our road needs to be kept up. And those sweet dogs don’t care what my party is. I guess just chatting with neighbors (and pets) is at least a start. (Told you it was a pretty lame answer!) 😉

    Wishing you a good rest of the summer,
    Julie

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thoroughly thought out, beautifully organized and engagingly written, as always. Those statistics pretty much say it all, don’t they?

    Having spent the last year in what is now statistically America’s most hated filled state ~ Colorado ~ where the national agenda against the homeless is much more advanced than it is on the West Coast, I was screamed at, threatened, lied to about existing promulgated law by both police and sheriffs, had my van pounded on, stoned, splashed with both filth and orrosives, run into intentionally, and pickaxed. Sound harassment continued for twenty four hours of most days, with full approval and sometimes cooperation of citizenry, and absolute nonresponse by law enforcement.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Concerning the attempted kidnapping of the governor you mentioned, I’ve heard this side of the story too, as told here:

    https://reason.com/2024/07/15/biden-cites-the-farcical-fbi-assisted-plot-to-kidnap-gretchen-whitmer-as-an-example-of-political-violence/

    It’s so hard to know the truth of the matter because so much lying goes on and suppression of the truth. A couple of years ago I started tabulating the lies spread by the mainstream media that were later proven false. Examples would include: 1) Jesse Smollette upheld as a hero for withstanding a racist attack. Later we learned it was staged. 2) The high schooler from Covington, KY who was derided as a racist. Later we learned HE was the one being harassed. 3) The border agents criticized for using whips on immigrants. Later we learned the “whips” were nothing more than the reins, being used to guide their horses. (The media chose to use photos, not video, to make their false case, for obvious reasons.) 4) The young boy, attending a football game, wearing face paint in the colors of his team–one side red, the other side black. The media chose to print a photo of the black side and accuse his family of racism. 5) We were told Covid-19 was a pandemic of the unvaccinated. So most of us received the shot(s). We still came down with Covid. 6) We were told to stay 6 feet away from each other and wear masks. Now we’ve learned those rules had no basis in fact. On and on the list could go. If the media would apologize, or better yet wait to make judgment until the facts of the matter can be substantiated before touting such stories as true, they wouldn’t have such a low approval rating. They are big contributors to the culture wars and can no longer be trusted. They’ve cried “Wolf” way too many times. We need to be savvy about the sources we trust.

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  4. Debi, the video I referred to is the first “Patriots and Prophets” message I had ever listened to. I watch videos on Elijah Streams of the prophets my spirit witnesses are true ones like Andrew Whalen and Barry Wunch who have dreams, visions and words that I believe are of God, and yes, some of them are about Trump…. As you know, I do not believe in America being made great again…. According to George Washington’s dream, it will be AFTER many of America’s cities are burned and after repentance comes, that “Union” (America) will be raised up in righteousness and have the Lord’s blessing.

    We are going to be going through great tribulation before then and God does reveal to the prophets the things that are coming…. Those who walk closely to the Lord will have the witness of the Spirit of Truth within to verify what prophecies are of the Lord…. I believe that the greatest need the body of Christ has is to be open to God because if we are opinionated and have our own judgments, we will not be able to hear the truth.
    How I pray for us to be given discernment and for us to lay down our lives in full surrender to the leadership of the Lord.
    ❤️✝️Michele

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  5. Our society’s polarization has brought much sadness to my heart knowing that a house divided cannot stand. For a short time, my family was affected by it, but thank God, He worked in our hearts teaching us to treat strife as we would a poisonous snake. You asked: “How can we be part of the solution?” and I believe that REPENTANCE is the first and foremost calling on our lives: We are to repent for not seeking God for His thoughts and ways to be revealed to us, for not realizing no matter how wise our reasoning is, God’s wisdom is higher, for entering into strife forgetting that our enemy is not flesh and blood, and for speaking our own words forgetting that we are not citizens of this world: As His ambassadors of Christ we are ONLY to speak our Lord’s words, not give our opinions. There’s more, but concerning our government, 2 Chronicles 7: 14 states in a nutshell what must be done to “heal our land.”

    We must remember that God puts in authority whom HE WILLS and that He chose Cyrus and King Asherus to do a great work and He also chose Pharoah to demonstrate His power. How badly we need to seek Him to know His thoughts and ways about EVERYTHING. Shortly after reading your post, a vision came of our Lord whirling a whip in His hand much like the one I imagined He used to drive out the money changers. Money has great power and the Bible states that the love of money is the root of all evil. Our government, as well as most governments, if not all of them, have been corrupted and this vision tells me that the Lord is going to go into action against this.

    When God’s judgments (another word for judgment is “crisis”) are on the earth, the people are going to learn righteousness and will rejoice. Babylon (the religious harlot as well as the political one) shall soon be destroyed. A great wakeup that is coming to the people of God will be instrumental in
    Babylon’s end as decrees of God will be made from a holy, righteous living people. We must no longer walk with darkened understanding realizing that we cannot HEAL Babylon: We are called to “Come OUT of her!” Debi, if we don’t we will be like righteous Lot who thought he could influence the people, but instead they influenced him. Only he and he daughters survived, losing everything, and so shall it be in the end days we are living in.

    As a side note, do you know what goes on when our newly elected congressmen go through their freshmen 8 day indoctrination?: Committees are ranked A, B, and C and ideological ideas are not discussed in them. The freshmen are told they can only talk about them “off the record.” To remain in good standing with the Republican party, every congressman must pay their dues to the National Republican Congressional Committee every two years. It’s 220 thousand dollars and 450 thousand dollars if they chair or sub chair a committee. The “game” is that they must “pay to play,” and they must “try out” to get a committee assignment: Being on committee “A” makes it easy to make money, “B” not so easy, and “C” very difficult, and they get thrown off the committees if they don’t go along with the agenda. The question is asked: “Will you vote for the budget if you are on this committee?” and are told it’s better to sink the nation in debt than to attempt to get reform. It’s no wonder we don’t have a functioning government. I just learned this about the Republican party Debi, and haven’t ascertained that it’s the same with the Democrats, but it most likely is looking at the shambles our country is in.

    God help us! Only the knowledge of truth is going to set us free and great repentance. Bless you Debi: Your heart for wanting what’s right, your deep search for it and your love for God, His people and the nation is evident and admirable.

    ❤️Michele

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  6. It is sad that the situation is not much better in 2024 than in 2020, but even worse. And it will continue on this path until the USA is no longer “a shining city on a hill,” radiating a beacon of freedom, health, and leadership around the world. We will soon be a third world country with internal wars for resources to relieve famine, disease and external attacks. We, as Christ-followers, MUST NOT subscribe to the hatred of the world, but show the love of Jesus to all that we might save some from their destruction.

    “But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.” 2 Timothy 3:1-5

    ❤️&🙏, c.a.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I can see myself in most of those issues. I’m not one that has a lot of close friends, anyway, but I’ve managed to make it this far having only “unfriended” one or two people, recently. They weren’t really “friends,” anyway, just people I knew from my school days. The stress is horrible. The whole situation creates unbearable anxiety, and yes, I just want to hide in a cave with a book and a drink (coffee, soda, water . . . depends on the time of day) and one of (or all) my cats.

    My faith remains strong, though. And that may be what is keeping me sane as I shake my head at the behavior of people around me. I nearly came unhinged last weekend. For the first time I can ever remember, I was literally afraid for our future. Not so much the future of the nation. I’m almost to a point where I don’t even care about that any more. But the future of my family and people like me. I came very close to texting my pastor to get her to “talk me off of the ledge.”

    But then, somehow, God calmed me. I know He’s got this. I don’t know what “this” is going to look like, going forward, and it might get even more frightening, and may even hurt at some point. But I will press on, trying my best to walk with Jesus (the real one, not the one that is being thrust in our faces right now) and showing love, compassion, mercy, and grace to ALL people.

    Thank you, my sister, for these poignant and thoughtful words. You helped me, this morning. Love y’all!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for this comment. It’s always good to know I’m not alone. I shudder to think what would be happening right now if the assassination attempt had been successful. No matter how we feel about a candidate, there is no room for political violence. But I fear there’s probably going to be more, not less. Ugh. I too have to trust that God is in control.

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