Little epiphanies

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Note: I first posted this article shortly after the 2020 U.S. presidential election. But with another election season in progress, I’d like to post it again with just a couple of small updates, because it still reflects my feelings about the polarization ripping apart our society. If anything, the problem only seems to be getting worse. This is part of a series of articles I will post between now and the U.S. election in November.

Insight doesn’t usually come to me in big EUREKA! moments, but tends to creep into my awareness through a series of little epiphanies. And so it was with the realization that our society’s culture wars were wreaking real damage, both in our communities and in my personal life. Even worse, I began to discern – albeit more slowly – that my own attitudes and behavior might be contributing to the problem.

The first of these little epiphanies came during my 20-year career in human services. Between my paid employment and my volunteer commitments, it was hard to avoid the fallout from our larger society’s political battles because the never-ending conflict so often affected my ability to simply do my job. Government funding to the social service agencies where I worked would be cut or delayed on a regular basis because elected officials liked to hold state and federal budgets hostage until they got their way on ideological priorities. This often resulted in staffing shortages and a reduction in the level of services we were able to provide for people in need.

“Philosophical differences” within the social service system itself sometimes kept helping professionals from working together for the benefit of people who sought assistance for problems ranging from drug addiction and homelessness to domestic violence and mental health issues. Conservative colleagues said poor choices and lack of personal responsibility were to blame for these individuals’ problems, while progressive colleagues insisted bad luck and social oppression were the culprits. My own experience told me the cause of most client problems was a complex combination of poor choices, bad luck and social oppression, but I often felt pressured by colleagues on both the left and the right to deny the reality in front of me when certain details of a person’s situation were not “ideologically correct.” 

Outside of work, I frequently found myself sucked into arguments with friends, relatives and even strangers over contentious “hot-button” issues such as abortion, gun violence, climate change and racial unrest. Sometimes online squabbles would get sufficiently nasty for me to block or “snooze” Facebook friends – both progressive and conservative – who refused to stop insulting my other Facebook friends. This situation got more pronounced after the 2016 election, with some friends actually pressuring me to stop associating with people on the “wrong” side of the ideological divide. 

However, I have to admit I wasn’t always the innocent victim or bystander in these skirmishes. For years, I had been repelled by the culture wars and yet attracted like the proverbial moth to a flame.

One sign that I might be a bit too invested in the culture wars came when I realized I had just wasted an entire afternoon arguing with total strangers about jello. Yes, jello. Progressives and conservatives on one Christian denomination’s Facebook page had been wrangling for days over this question: “Is it racist to make jokes about jello at church potlucks?” I further realized it wasn’t the first time this had happened. Conservative and progressive Christians frequently mauled and skewered each other on Web sites such as Patheos, gleefully calling each other names and dropping F-bombs on people left and right. While I didn’t resort to insults or profanity myself, I confess to participating in too many of these “discussions” for longer than I should have. 

Another “Aha!” moment came during election season when I realized I hadn’t done my morning meditation in several days. Morning meditation was one of my favorite prayer rituals. I settled in my recliner in front of the fireplace with a cup of coffee by my side and a cat in my lap and asked for God’s protection and guidance as I journaled about my priorities for the coming day. Sometimes my husband serenaded Oley Cat and me with sacred songs on his dulcimer. So why was I missing out? Not because of early doctor appointments or work commitments. Before I even had my morning coffee, I would rush to my computer and click into Real Clear Politics or FiveThirtyEight.com to see who was ahead in the polls. Housework and my writing also languished while I aimlessly surfed the web, looking for that news story or editorial that would magically reassure me the right side was winning.

One beautiful October day, I was taking a twilight walk when I suddenly stopped short. Mother Nature’s handiwork prompted me to gasp. Fall leaves flashed yellow-orange-crimson. Light from the setting sun bounced off the tops of trees in even more vivid colors. The sky competed with the trees for sheer outrageousness – the sun painting the clouds red, orange, yellow, pink, purple. A still-warm breeze blew gently across my face. Then I stopped short again. I realized I had been walking for several minutes before I noticed what was in front of me. While God was putting on this living fireworks display, I had been gazing at the sidewalk, my mind flitting from one surly thought to another: I wish our elected officials would stop acting like children. … What kind of people would vote for a monster like that? … What on earth is wrong with people?! … How can they think that way?  

The final straw that convinced me I’d had enough of the culture wars came with the COVID-19 pandemic. Here we were, facing a virus that was killing hundreds of thousands of people, and our elected officials would not stop brawling long enough to develop a coherent plan for addressing this urgent public health issue. One would think the general public might urge lawmakers to put aside their political differences and collaborate on ways to get personal protective equipment to our frontline workers, ensure ICU beds were available for everyone who needed one, and help families and small businesses affected by our shutdown orders. Instead, all we could seem to do was bicker about face masks and shame each other with Facebook memes while we retreated further into our ideological camps and dug in our heels.

So what could one person do to stop the lunacy? I was pretty sure the answer was not to retreat from the political arena, look the other way in the face of injustice or stop working to resolve problems such as poverty and hunger. On the other hand, something clearly wasn’t working – either in our society or in my responses to the endless strife. At the very least, my own responses needed to change. 

Unfortunately, the church community – where one might hope to find some guidance – seemed only to provoke more confusion and discord. Many Christian denominations were drawing progressive-versus-conservative battle lines that matched those of secular society. As people on either end of the political/ideological divide pressured me to take sides, I often found myself performing mental gymnastics to make my religious beliefs about an issue fit a particular political party’s platform. And I came to realize how much my own beliefs were being shaped by my desire to fit in with the people around me rather than by an objective search for truth. 

This internal tug-of-war brought on by the increasing divisiveness in our society prompted me to ask myself several questions: What were my own beliefs about the hot-button issues that consumed our nation’s culture warriors? Should I continue holding onto these beliefs and values, or should some of them be changed or discarded? How could I avoid the continual pressure to “choose sides” and do more of my own thinking? What was my role as a Christian in fighting or mitigating society’s political battles? How should I engage people who disagreed with me, while keeping in mind God’s commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves? And perhaps most importantly, how did I avoid becoming part of the problem as our society grew ever more partisan and angry? How could I be part of the solution?

To help me sort through these questions, I engaged a spiritual director. With her encouragement, I began questioning many things I thought I knew. I questioned values other people wanted me to hold – whether they be conservative or progressive. I began asking myself how much I really believed everything I claimed to believe concerning church dogma and secular political ideologies. Was it possible I was merely paying lip service to certain ideas to please my peer group? I decided for the time being to ignore what academic “experts” thought. I did not want a value system that would simply let me fit in chameleon-like with my surroundings. Ultimately, I wanted a personal faith that would stand up to reason, scrutiny and pressure from the various culture warriors in my life. My “deconstruction and reconstruction” — or discernment — process continues to this day.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:21, the Apostle Paul said, “Test all things; hold fast to that which is good.” 

I certainly haven’t figured out all the answers. But I do think one key to finding an appropriate Christian response to our society’s polarization problem is to avoid knee-jerk ideological responses to heated controversies, hear people out on all sides and keep asking those pesky questions.

Questions for readers: How has our society’s polarization impacted you personally? If you’re one of those people who feel exhausted by the fighting, what incidents or events triggered that exhaustion? How do we become part of the solution rather than part of the problem? I’d love to hear your responses to these questions, as well as your comments on this article. Just hit “Leave a Reply” below. When responding, please keep in mind the guidelines I’ve outlined on my Rules of Engagement page (link HERE).

48 thoughts on “Little epiphanies”

  1. Thank you for your honesty and your insights. Your experience mirrors my own.

    I took up blogging in the hoping of using my talents for God’s purposes, after health issues had greatly reduced my energy and sphere of influence.

    I write primarily about poverty and abuse, which I believe are critical issues. Dialog to address and resolve such complex issues is essential.

    On all issues, however, polarization has in recent years had an enormously negative impact. Neither side will listen to the other. Grey areas (and the possibility for compromise) have been eliminated.

    Christians should not, of course, compromise on issues of faith. Sadly, the organized church does not seem to recognize this.

    In all contexts, online and off, Christians should strive to present biblical truth in a loving manner — fully aware that such truth may not be accepted.

    This will become all the more important as religious persecution increases. Antisemitism is already on the rise.

    I pray for this nation, and I pray for courage as darkness increases.

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  5. An after thought after my reply. I am staying on social media even though I see the danger but I think there is more danger in allowing those who think differently to drive me off of writing about the Savior. I joke about if anyone liberal gets on my Facebook or blog site, they will for sure read the name Jesus in almost every posting.

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    • I’ve stayed on social media as well, but try to limit the amount of time I spend on it. And I’ve stopped posting anything political on Facebook, especially memes that ridicule anyone who disagrees with the person posting them. Even if I agree with some of the sentiments in some of the memes, the approach of ridiculing others who disagree is just not helpful, so I resist sharing them.

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  6. Your post is greatly needed in this age of confusion about most things. There are so many loud voices to try and get us confused too. Well written post about how to live in today and be able to stay sane.

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  7. My father used to say, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” That certainly seems true in the political arena. Even when presented with facts, as seen in videos with their own eyes, some people still resist truth. It doesn’t help that lies by the dozens are spewed by many in the media. What can we do? As C. A. Post advised above: Praying without ceasing is key.” We need a revival of faith in Jesus and adherence to scriptural principles! “If the power of the Gospel is not felt throughout the length and breadth of the land – anarchy and misrule, degradation and misery, corruption and darkness, will reign without mitigation or end.”—Daniel Webster (1782-1872), former U.S. Secretary of State 

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    • Yes, it seems like the media these days seem to do nothing but spew out a steady stream of pure propaganda. And now that we have AI, even what we think we’re seeing in videos might not be the truth because the videos turn out to be doctored. Definitely praying for discernment is important, and I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. We just need to make sure it’s not to the new AI Jesus, who is rumored to tell people whatever they want to hear. (Yikes!)

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      • You’re right, Debi Sue – it’s going to become impossible to recognize real videos from those that have been tampered with. “Consider-the- source” will be more important than ever. Those that have lied to us repeatedly in the past no longer deserve our trust.

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  8. I rarely engage anymore, and I don’t use my blog to push political ideology. Some people have to learn from experience. No amount of arguing nor talking will convince them of anything. I put my trust in God. After all, he knows better than any of us what’s going to happen and what should happen. And, if people are so depraved, maybe they should go extinct. But that’s up to God to decide.

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    • If people are so depraved, maybe they should go extinct … yes, I’ve thought that at times. But then my husband and I go through a year like we did last year, and the people who showed up for us were so amazing. So I just remind myself that I’m a sinner like everyone else and try to look for the good in people wherever I can.

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  9. I loved this post, because you said what I’ve been thinking and feeling all along. There is so much pressure to choose a side, and if you can see both the good and bad in both progressives and conservatives, then you’re just stranded on your own little island! Whatever happened to being able to agree to disagree? Or being able to realize that not everything is black and white? Most issues are very complex, but we don’t want to treat them that way, we just want to label everything and everyone as either “good” or “bad.” And that is especially hypocritical when we call our selves Christians. I never found the scripture where Jesus said, “Love your enemies…except for your political enemies, it’s okay to attack them.” We have to do better!

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  10. I eventually ended up abandoning a Facebook account that I was using to keep up with some old NAVY acquaintances because some of them couldn’t resist speaking in a derogatory manner about things that are an integral part of my belief system because the party of their own political bent was busy demonizing those very things. It finally convinced me I didn’t have as much in common as I had hoped. Nor was there much chance to get a word of gentle persuasion in edgewise.

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  11. “Insight tends to creep into my awareness through a series of little epiphanies.” I love that! I deleted my Facebook app from my phone due to politics. I still access it from my computer from time to time. It seems most of my real friends and family have moved on from the Facebook phase anyway.

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  12. Thank you. I enjoyed reflecting as I read. In the UK, politics is a little different, but also polarised camps to a degree. The thought that came to me a couple of times as I read your musings and questions was to ask ourselves and Holy Spirit in each situation, What would Jesus say, do in this situation, or how would He respond.

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  13. I applaud you for not settling for a complacent mindset and thank you for sharing your rich experiences with us that have led you to a place of finding an engaged spiritual director who will assist with your exploration.

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  14. I believe that at the moment a majority of people in this country are very physiologically disregulated making it very difficult to think rationally. And of course we play off each other’s distress. I find I have to moderate my consumption of media so that I stay grounded. If I get agitated I quit reading or scrolling or listening. We can only really connect from a grounded spot, so my job is to stay there. I spend a lot of time in silence!

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    • It is not only you and I who have noticed a new problem with logical thinking in the masses. College professors report that for the last five years or so it has been virtually impossible to get the average student to follow so much as a simple progression of logic.

      Myself, I find the capacities for well meaning conversational exchange, and especially memory functions, have become so truncated that the only way to keep the peace is strict silence. When I am forced to speak I record the conversations ~ otherwise it’s pretty much text exchange only. People can’t or don’t want to remember what they themselves have said!

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  17. Praying without ceasing is key. Not a matter of staying on one’s knees 24/7, but we DO have a 24/7 state of consciousness in which we constantly comment (usually to ourselves) on everything around us. If we can direct that stream of consciousness to our Father, we will find Him not only listening, but many times speaking in that “still small voice” of His (like when He spoke to Elijah). ❤️&🙏, c.a.

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    • I’ve always been curious about the “pray without ceasing” part and how that is achieved, since of course we can’t stay on our knees 24/7. I like to think of it as “mindfulness,” which would preclude some of the mindless surfing and “doomscrolling” some of us do on the Internet.

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  18. I love this article. So well written and stated!

    The ideology involved with helping people is a stunning realization. It reminds me that I realized many years ago (around four decades) that when Jesus told us to love people and help the needy, He did not instruct us to qualify our help on whether they made good choices or not.

    And how bad have things gotten if we are arguing about Jello??

    I share some of your feelings and opinions on this whole thing. I have probably gone too far in the other direction, trying to avoid political websites and posts altogether. I, too, have unfollowed some people, and, recently, unfriended a couple because they compared 45’s trial to Jesus. Egad! How could anyone do that??

    Like you, I’m exhausted over the whole thing. My response is to (and I believe this is from God) do all I can to present a positive, loving presence on social media, rather than eschew it altogether. I refrain from using (and try to not even think) words like “idiot” and “moron.” I share my wife’s opinion that all of us are idiots, at some time or another.

    I look forward to reading more of these. Grace and peace, my friend!

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    • I’ve chosen to stay on social media as well because it helps me stay in touch with friends and relatives, but I have resolved not to post political stuff or memes about hot-button issues, since these are what seem to attract the nasty responses. And I agree, we can ALL be a bit misguided at times.

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